Bizzar Findings
by Narilka
Summary: Kagome finds out what's happened to her friends after she returns to her time permanently. Supposed to be funny, probably crack. Rated for mature themes


Inuyasha groaned as he reluctantly rolled out of bed. 'I hate the modern era.' He mused staggering into the bathroom.

"Never again. Never ever EVER again!" Inuyasha groused stepping into the steaming hot spray.

"The hell are you complaining about now?" His roommate grumbled, sliding into the shower with him.

"You and you're damn parties!" Inuyasha snorted.

The other males gave his butt cheek a firm squeeze. "You weren't complaining last night."

"I wasn't hung over last night." Inuyasha growled pulling the offending hand around to the source of his aggression. "If you're going to pet me, do it here."

The other smirked before talking hold of the irate hanyou's family jewels. "Like this?" He murmured while his hand pumped Inuyasha's semi-erection into a full blown hard on.

"Fuck." Inuyasha swore reaching down to move his hand away.

"Ah ah ah." the other growled using both hands to stroke the hanyou into oblivion.

Inuyasha swore violently as one of the hands on his dick slide down to play with his balls. He was saved the indignity of spewing by a loud, persistent banging at the door.

"Will you two quite screwing and hurry your asses up?" Shippou snarled. "Some of us actually have places to be."

Kouga snarled at the door. Since his fun had been interrupted, he toweled off and left his boyfriend to finish by himself.

"Where the hell are you going?" Inuyasha gave him a murderous look.

Kouga smirked. "Sorry, you heard the runt time to get out."

Inuyasha growled at his retreating figure as switched off the hot water.

"Hey, hurry up!" Shippou shouted.

"Can it, Pipsqueak!" Inuyasha shouted as the cold water worked it's magic.

"He's in there pouting because I wouldn't finish him." Kouga smirked leaning against the bedroom door.

"Don't tell me shit like that!" Shippou covered his ears. "I'll be scarred for the rest of my life!"

The bathroom door opened and Inuyasha glared at the both of them.

"Get your damn shower, fox." Inuyasha growled.

"Geez, maybe you should have finished him." Shippou quipped disappearing into the bathroom.

Inuyasha scowled at the door. Kouga laughed.

"And you!" Inuyasha rounded on the wolf. "You ain't getting nothing from me tonight."

Kouga sobered instantly. "What did I do?"

Inuyasha leaned forward menacingly. "Nothing and if you try anything you won't get any for the rest of the week."

Kouga's eyes widened comically and he tried to sputter out a protest. Satisfied, Inuyasha turned on his heel and disappeared into the kitchen.

"That's what you get for teasing!" Shippou, the unabashed eavesdropper, shouted cheerfully.

Kouga glared at the bathroom door. "Shut up, fox."

Shippou began to hum to himself. 'I knew something good would happen today. Boy is Kagome in for a surprise.'

Higurashi Shrine, later that same day

"Mom, I'm home." Kagome called as she pulled off her shoes.

The only answer she got was silence. Kagome frowned as she walked deeper into the house. 'Maybe she went shopping…' She thought not as she made her way to the living room. 'That must be it, why else would she turn off all the lights.' Kagome flipped on the lights.

"SURPRISE!" Yelled a chorus of voices.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Kagome clutched her heart and gasped for breath.

"Happy Birthday!" Her mother gushed dragging her to the table that was loaded down with treats.

Three very familiar looking boys were standing by the cake. 'It couldn't be…' Kagome's train of thought was derailed when the redhead smiled flashing a fang. 'Holy crap, they're demons!'

"Hey, Kagome. Long time no see." The redhead grinned, his voice triggered a memory.

"Shippou?" Kagome asked in amazement.

"I told you she'd spot the runt." Muttered Inuyasha with a smirk.

"Lucky guess." Kouga grumbled.

"Inuyasha? Kouga?" Kagome stared at them in awe. "You're here?"

"Well duh." Inuyasha huffed. "We've got demon blood in us. Of course we're here. Is your brain broken?"

"She probably thought that Sesshoumaru killed your dumb ass." Kouga grinned.

"As if." Inuyasha snorted getting all riled up.

Kagome wiped tears out of her eyes before embracing the rash hanyou. "I'm so glad you're all okay."

Shippou's eyes held a wicked glint as he announced. "Kouga and Inuyasha are much closer now… on a nightly basis."

Kagome's eyes widened like saucers. "You mean he… and they… and…"

"Yup, Inuyasha and Kouga are gay." Shippou beamed.

"Whoa." Kagome blinked owlishly. 'I was in love with a gay man…'

"Geez, runt, you have no tact whatsoever." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry Kagome. I've been keeping them out of trouble." Kouga patted her back.

Inuyasha and Shippou shot him disbelieving looks.

"I think you got that backward." Inuyasha and Shippou grumbled.

"Is Kirara…?" Kagome began, feeling a little tense.

"She lives with Sesshoumaru now, took a shine to his woman." Kouga answered.

"Sesshoumaru has a woman?" Kagome asked, clearly shocked.

"Yeah, one of Sango's grandkids. She's some kind of celestial maiden or something. Sesshoumaru went nuts for her." Inuyasha waved his hand dismissively.

Kagome was trying very hard to imagine Lord Sesshoumaru going "nuts" over a girl. She just could not see it. Shippou seemed to understand her dilemma so he offered some clarification.

"It was more like he scared off any male with even the slightest interest in her then told her she belonged to him." Shippou said. "I think she must have wanted him though because she didn't put up much of a fight."

"Some girls like being chased." Inuyasha said looking pointedly at Kouga.

"How was I supposed to know she was flirting?" Kouga huffed. "Ayame should have just told me what she wanted."

"It's a good thing they have each other because they are hopeless when it comes to females." Shippou sighed shaking his head.

Inuyasha and Kouga sputtered indignantly when Kagome readily agreed with him.

"And what about you Shippou?" Kagome asked with just a little too much sugar in her voice. "Do I have and cute little nieces or nephews yet?"

Shippou's face darkened like an overripe tomato. "K-kagome!"

"Yeah Shippou." Inuyasha grinned evilly. "When are you gonna give us some runts to spoil?"

Shippou floundered as his face shone an impossible neon red.

"I think the poor little foxy is embarrassed." Kouga teased.

Kagome sighed contently. 'Best birthday ever!'


End file.
